Given that we’ve been communicating with each other since birth, it’s a wonder that it is still so difficult for most of us. Too often, we misunderstand, hurt and offend each other and only listen to each other enough to be able to rebut the other person’s point of view. Although our second principle includes striving for compassion in human relations, often our communication is anything but. Maybe there’s a better way.
I’m very aware that this is the first service since Clay died that we’re not using one of his talks. I’ve been on the calendar for months, and Ted and I decided that this would be an alright topic for today since we’re hurting and I hope that some of these words may be useful for all of us in dealing with grief.
I also feel the need to give a disclaimer because I’m an academic, and this isn’t my field. I am talking about self-compassion because becoming more compassionate towards myself and others is a path that I am on and something I’m striving for. I have become interested in the psychology behind it and have done some reading, and I’m convinced that most of us can benefit from an increased dose of self-kindness.
Nō Ingarangi, Kōtirana, Tiamana me Huiterangi ōku tīpuna
I whānau mai au i Hartford, Connecticut, Ngā Whenua Tōpū o Amerika
I tupu ake au i Baltimore, Maryland, Ngā Whenua Tōpū o Amerika
I tae mai au ki Aotearoa i te tau rua mano mā waru
Ko Martha’s Vineyard tōku karanga motu
Ko Tiasquam tōku karanga awa
Ko Vineyard Haven Moana tōku karanga moana
Kei Hauraki / North Shore o Tāmaki Makaurau ahau e noho ana
Ko Kate ahau
My ancestors hail from England, Scotland, Germany and Switzerland
I was born in Hartford, Connecticut, USA
I was raised in Baltimore, Maryland, USA
I arrived in New Zealand in the year 2008
Martha’s Vineyard is the island that calls to me
The Tiasquam is the river that calls to me
Vineyard Haven is the harbor that calls to me
I am currently living in Hauraki on the North Shore of Auckland
I am Kate
Many of us have lost a sense of belonging in one place or another, having made a life around the world from where we were born and grew up. There is a longing for a beloved past and people, and despair when we realize that when we go back everything has changed and feel grief at what has been lost.